Whenever Ive tried to have it with someone, theyve always wanted to know WHY Im not interested and what can they do to change things. I told myself maybe he fell asleep and he answer as soon as he can. He said I thought I gave you the green light to reach out to me. I told him that I didnt mean to offend, but I was letting him lead and didnt want to bother him. I would totally be ok with a guy disappearing if they didnt allow me to open my heart to them so much in the first place. She may take that as a lesson moving forward in her interactions with people; to actually listen. When a guy disappears from your life only to reappear sometime later, it can actually mean that hes too possessive. If I dont initiate, he wont reply. If a guy wants to be with you, he will show you he wants to be with you. Absolutely call the person on it. Arrff cant I be the exception. Dont beat yourself up over it, let him go. WHY on earth would she waste her time with a guy like that? He deleted a load of girls without me requesting it. R. So you slept with him and he ghosted out on you. Honestly my last situation i met a guy and were dating for like 4 months. I am all serious around her when the fact of the matter is that I am a joker and a funny type of guy! Continued to text but avoid weekends until of course valentine rolled around. Its been 3 months and he is a no-show. If he disappears, it's because he isn't the right guy for you. The men Ive dated come on very strong and tell me how much they like me and cant understand why I havent been snapped up etc. Get rid of the trash! I left an upset message to him so he knew I was angry (I had 3 no shows that week! Theyll get the message eventually. Several days ago, my friends, who didnt know that me and him are no longer together, met him at the bar. Maybe? Its known as Facebook stalking. We spent a glorious night together, he left to go home for work in the morning. He would jump to the internet right after his work to talk to me but now, even when he has the time he just doesnt seem to be interested in talking to me. Anyway a couple weeks later I started feeling that I loved him. After two first dates with a lively beautiful blond (middle school teacher) I had to let her off the hook. Youre giving the guy in this situation way too much credit. However, the older I got I started to think about it more and realised that if we (women) do not just contact them after they ghost us Yes, we do preserve our dignity BUT we continue to allow this behaviour to happen!!!!! Is there a message that is appropriate to the occasion and makes him realize he made a mistake?It's never easy to figure out that a guy who had great potential to be your friend ends up as MIA.. An its been 4 days since he texted me or called me. He started all of this from the beginning, Wanting to date me and claiming he was really into me. And he did, but it was like texting my grandma. You dont choose me, I choose you.NEXT!! If you do, you deserve your entire investment. I met a man on a dating site we hit it off right away. vanished!! Or there is someone else. You finally think you meet a guy who truly cares about you and wants a future with you and then poof its like you dont even exist anymore. Of course I feel like its all me and that I have done something wrong. Your email address will not be published. We met on an online dating site, had been seeing each other for about 3.5 months. Since he works at the store I get my groceries from I used a different picture.. After 6 months we booked up to go to Greece together for our first romantic holiday, 7 months into the relationship and a week before our holiday he rang me up and broke up with me. I respected this and gave him space. 5. We last spoke this past Tuesday, had plans to see each other on Wednesday, Christmas Eve. All the reasons why guys do this are listed here to help you figure out his silence. It sucks that I lost my best friend and also the fact that I told him I like him too then he disappeared. No way to tell what happened other than he simply sucks. I name a time when Ill be freed up from work. Natasha, Its a mutual emotional sickness. I dont generally ask for advice about my relationships ( this isnt a relationship) since I am super reserved, but Ive found this website helpful and needless to say I am CONFUSED. I reject good guys and then this is how I get treated. I have a bf and we ere together like 2 years more we are LDR. Maybe he drank a strange magic potion. Im sorry but i am no longer interested good luck though. The damage is done, theres nothing you can do so dont torture yourself over it. It seems that every guy Vanishes on me. I lay out that I dont think he can handle my past baggage and insecurities. I even asked him several times and told him that tif there was someone else that he was into. He even woke up and made me coffee in the morning before waking me. No, he never spends time with me. So think about the people youve ghosted and left in your trail of emotional destruction!! Thank you, I know thats right, but its still hurtful. He was happy to have distance. I wasnt that into him in the beginning but he was really chasing and really I will say earned my attention. i met all his family and they really liked me. Evening passed by and I realised Ive been ghosted. He went very quiet and eventually said , yes its easy to find your way around here. Are you willing to give him one more chance or has he wasted all of them? Why would you stay with someone who A: isnt interested in you sexually, and B: by his actions, doesnt care if you are in his life? You know putting the cart in front of the horse. omg thanks for replying :) Ugh its really sad to think that he just wants sex because in all this years he never tried anything like that (or at least I didnt felt it that way..i dont know). He has run so many times and always comes home. I can understand youre drawn to him because he treats you sweet enough to hang on to his bait and then drop you as soon as you are hooked. Someone else is, someone BETTER. I reached out to him twice, but no reaction. @_@ Im not obsessed with the guy, its more of an obsession with wanting to know why. Quite judgmental and making many assumptions. He told me hes getting a big surgery next week on his hips and would have to work OT this coming week to make up the time, so he wanted to see me the following Monday (which is a holiday). I do miss him and he has done a lot for me through the last 4 years. Unfortunately the more experiences I have had, the pickier I have become and therefore the people I give real chances to beyond meeting once or twice boil down to whose I do care about. Im going through the same situation as you, trying to get over someone whos playing hard to get or who doesnt care about me (I dont know the answer). Heres a secret: men WANT an amazing woman. His response? Not too happy with the current dating culture. What didnt he like about me? So this one guy started chatting but he seemed busy when he contact me, keeps it short. Another new experience. Then he asked about Sunday. Good luck! This has also been my experience over the last ten years. So much for communication! Sorry for bad English since its not my mother language. (I was close for 15 years, thought I was with my sole mate. Two days ago, I decided to text him to see how he was doing and to wish him a great final week of schoolyou guessed it nothing! What you text a guy doesnt matter on the length, but rather the content and the wording of it. What did you end up doing? You created this world. Now, whenever I talk with someone, I just assume theyll disappear sooner or later and out of the blue and it has nothing to do with me at all. Lol! Hes well aware of his behavior. I would not answer him at all when he tries to come back with his tail between his legs. Any advice? We all justify our behaviour to an extent. I deserve better.. its sucks but I need to wake up in the reality that i kissed a wrong frog again.. this what exactly happened to me.. all our dates are perfect, all the signs that a guy like you are present. He was such a gentleman through out the trip that I could see myself falling in love. Its a very cruel game and I have been there more than once. I was so happy those 2 weeks and silly me thought that maybe this could be the start of something good . He got me to see myself more positively. Anyways so after that he texted me when he landed and I didnt hear from him the next day and he was flying to another city for work so I told him to have a safe flight but then didnt hear from him the whole day so I freaked out called and texted saying even if you didnt like me, you ca atlesst tell me you are okay and Im worried and he replied a few hours later that he is sorry that he made me worried but he is okay and he will call Im sitting here laughing my ass off as to how cray-cray Ive been acting I literally did everything the quiz results advise not to do! I needed chill and someone who was responsive. I recently was seeing a men that disappeared and reappeared. You can stop a disappearance before it happens if you know what signs to look for. What do you guys think? Lost and confused. I told him that I have feelings too and I feel very hurt I also felt that I was not a priority in that no matter what as long as she is going to have something against what he does and if he responds that way we could never have a healthy relationship because she will always control what he does. Dont contact him anymore. They even sat together. During the way back I was quiet and I felt unsecure about tI his date. Period. You're not a priority for him and most likely, never will be. I never heard another word from him, that was 6 days ago. The only thing he would say is that he has feelings for me. No!!!! We decided that I would go back to France for almost a month to visit him over my school break. Ive been heartbroken for the first time only recently and its devastating so I feel like I need to hug anyone going through it. Just like that. You still truly dont KNOW them. ???? To this, I laughed and said, No I meant seriously and dont dodge the question. If you feel like sharing a problematic thought, Im here to listen without judgment. You are so right!! Help, Yep, met this guy on match, we spent some good times together for about 2 months(our first date we talked for 6 hours and never even got around to out food! And by this, I mean a sexual option. I asked him if we could talk as I still had feelings for him but instead he just opened my messages and ignored me then blocked me off all social media. No response. I asked him if I did anything or said anything to upset him and he said Absoletly not and that hes just been busy. After a few months of dating I introduced him to all my family and he came to my cousins wedding. Please help Of course, I fell in love with him too and completely head over heels. Did you get involved wit him while they were married or recently separated? And he didnt mention anything! Your advice truly helped me as well. Days later and still no response. Said he was a screw up and I deserved a better man because I deserved to be happy. Initially, I felt what Is It about me what wasnt Enough for him. So I texted him and asked him how he was doing since i havent heard from him in awhile. During this talking he has said he has missed me and how he liked when I would be sleeping next to him because it would relax him. I had one who wanted me to be his angel while HE pinned over his ex of 4 months. Last year I dated 4 guys. I know right? I feel like Im a likeable person. We dated for 6 months. 1: because he is married and I've never initiated contact, he always did. We moved onto another place to drink. The good news is, that doesnt diminish you and what you have to offer some other great guy. Yes the whole thing felt real. Well, he did reply and apologized for taking so long to respond and said that he was just trying to make sure his family was ok. I noticed over the next week, the same thing happened, calls are less frequent so last Tuesday, I called him and asked whats going on with him, same thing, his job. Don't miss anything you want to say to him. He had flaws but I love him for those imperfections. I woke up at 5am and sure enough he opened up my snap but never answered my text :s this is when I knew somethings wrong so I texted him asking him if everythings okay etc. Im sorry to say that even dating in the senior years, there are people that are grand mothers (and grand fathers) that behave like this. Move onto someone better. Please help me out! He might be too busy all the time to hang out with you, or he will always have an excuse for why he didn't call or invite you out. About two months ago I met a young guy from an online dating site. Im sure youve read numerous books about men being one track minded whereas women tend to be multi-focusers. He seemed like a whole package.. Good looking, smart and very sexy.. not to mention the sex Textes where so toe curlying good. He texted me two days later, again to see whether I was available to hang out this week, I had not replied yet since he doesnt take his time to respond to me, at the end of the day I am keeping my options open I might see him this week, but at the other side I am going to see other people as well.. They are in their 40s and I am in my 50s. Im just really angry he doesnt have the balls to talk to me and clarify things! Hi Ryan, It takes balls to have that conversation. Apparently OVER friendly and i most probably appeared clingy. We had been dating for 2 months. Im not ready to label him a jerk and walk away. You dont have to give it up though! he went all out, swept me of my feet and made me the happiest girl in the world. The difficulty very often in these cases (which compounds the process) is that most women (myself included at one time) automatically assume hes vanished because he isnt or has lost interested, so react accordingly, which often only serves in turn to strengthen his original point of view. Im I know for me, going a week without even a response would upset me. Dont let people tell you that you are perfect and dont need to change. Sorry I had to be so blunt but during heartbreak we seem to be deaf, blind and somewhat insane. I messaged him a few days later and nothing. I met a man online. I confronted mine by showing up at his house and told him how I felt about his behavior. And this came after he didnt visit me for over a month ish even though he works like 8-9 mins from my house (he lives 40 ish mins away). I was ok with it and we cuddled and kiss till I got home, he texted me right after to seri got home safe and everything seemed great, until he started a new job the day after the talk I had with him. Im so hurt.. All this being overly sensitive about every little thing someone does, or this self-centered perception on love where in order for him to truly care about you he has to cater to whatever you want all the time, its clingy and exhausting and no one can live up to that standard for too long, not even any of you ladies! So in my opinion the person who finds themselves left behind should swallow the pride and reach out to ask for the very basic thing they deserve : a conversation, a closure. Hi guys Ive red the article but I still want to someones elses point of view for my particular situasion Weve been staying in touch for some time and seeing each other, but weve had some fights etc. We lived long distance but we would tango and oovoo each other every now and then. He has been on FB every single day though. doesnt sound like youre getting much out of this anymore so set yourself free from him. And also he went to the work cause he didnt get new job and its ok but they said a new girl iss his partner! Im going to reach out and make sure he knows I really do care and appreciate him before I assume hes just ghosting me. I did call him and text him but no reply . And I wont. Always. I asked him his schedule for the week and when we could get together (knowing I had the intention of asking him in person what was going on)and he just ignored the question and talked about his work. Hes just not that into you. We talk again on the phone for another hour the next night and I am on cloud nine. This will eat away at your self-esteem and will repel any new potential suitors that might come along. Look at me! Start your own life and make a new plan without him. I know this is probably the best anyway because nothing will ever really be right with us since he is married. I see from my friends account tjah he is already following some other girls. We started seeing each other. Versus just saying oh ur watching a movie cool. No texts. Now its turned dating into pump and dump. He called me beautiful as a nick name. but Im really not into games or being passive aggressive, so I called him out on it. Let me break it down for you: He didnt feel that he had anything invested in you. I know that we had a great time hanging out but I also know how tricky it can be for guys when they realize theyre catching feelings or when they want different things. In the meantime, distract yourself with other things you enjoy. Right? He claimed how much he loved me but he was very selfish during our relationship and dont put much effort and for that he was sorry. Ummm, wow. He said I didnt do anything wrong he just had a bad day. He used to respond to all your texts, but now he replies only a couple times a week. An Aries guy loves it when a woman compliments him, so you can attract him to you by showering him with praise. However, if you have been in this situation, you know how much it hurts when you know someone is deliberately laying games with your feelings! I dont think you did anything wrong by texting him asking WHEN the date was going to happen. So dear girls. Hell get the hint and snap eventually, and youll get em back, especially if you stick to DVDs as your topic lol. Dont take it personally. trust me. I wouldve never gone along with that had I not thought this dude was something else. I was trying to do things in the right way and not rush to a relationship or label it a relationship, mistakes women often do, and I have done before years ago. I have started dating again and these are the exact things I have been dealing with. He was living abroad for a few months but started making plans for us for when he got back. after that question I wrote how come hasnt he answers me its been two days and he hasnt replied so iam wondering since he was finishing up his paper waist because hes super busy or did he lose instreasted in me after that question I asked him and why I really like him did I chase him away with something I asked him?? That does not make you a bad guy. But now there has been nothing! And that hurts that he couldnt even via email thank me back for the beautiful moments weve shared. I wish the best for you. Its all about me, me, me, and oh by the wayme again. Ignoring someone youve been dating for months is one of them. We had been dating for about 4 mos. Got over him and began to work on myself. yeah much better to enjoy life around people who energize you, than drain your energy around people who suck. He said, listen, I havent forgotten about youIm just really busy. good education, professionals). (I initiated) the date or hang out went amazingly well. Yet he would answer me later in the day or evening. I dont want to waste my time 5. as I dont want him to think that I am psycho, and thats what guys do, is they twist it to where we want them so bad. Almost a week went by, and still nothing. My situation is so similar! I am just reading some articles about NPD (narcissist personality disorder) and am discovering that what my guy is doing is not a simple ghosting act but rather a silent treatment. Does he give you what YOU need? And also I understood that he is definatley not into me. It is Not about me . He was supposed to come back and help me with something I needed done and never came, never called, never text. So what if we shared the best sex of our lives? Because if so, then you should give it a try and text him first. In person, conversation is normal and usually light. He had told me that everything he had ever searched for that he couldnt possibly find he found it in me. But it will be if you dont back off and give him space. Never once does a Woman ask what do I bring to the table? I even learned some tough lessons. It's like I don't exist. Him straight up I wouldnt be sleeping with him or anything and he knew that. Im almost wondering if it was the truth or if he used it as an excuse to disappear. At this point, I felt like a child being given an empty promise just to keep me quiet so I told him, its hard to communicate in Text messages and some things were better said in person. Its been almost 2 weeks now. the line about waiting to have sex only makes sense if he made a serious effort to mess around in other ways (which i get the feeling he probably didnt). Hanging on when theres nothing there is being pessimistic about yourself and your future. He might do the slow fade out, meaning he stops initiating contact and when you reach out to him he takes hours or days to reply. None of us are perfect and we can all improve ourselves (especially men!). I too am going through the ghosting of a guy i met.. His 32, am 27. At the end of our freshman year he started becoming more and more distant. This is the second time hes done this to me. My situation relates to yours very closely. Sometimes, it can be just testing your interest level, if they have reason to believe you may not be that into them. I will kiss my prince one day. anyways to be told to come over and then for him to hide in his house was a horrible way to be let down. we started talking more and more and even started flirting. Some initiating texts to send a guy who disappeared: Dating multiple people at once is the new trend nowadays, thus feeding the expectation that he disappears because he sees someone else. We both wanted to take it slow and get to know each other. This time has been hell for me and I miss him every day. It means there are a lot of women out there looking for a lack of red flags rather than a REAL connection or real reason to fall in love. Then a few weeks later he expressed that he was moving to his parents 3 hours away to get his life together.I accepted that because I understand when you fall you need help and that was his goal getting his life back on track. I think you made a wise choice by not sleeping with this guy. 5 minutes passed then I said to him so youre not going tp mention the fact that you unfriended me without even let me know? Drop him. Almost every one of your friends has met at least one guy who disappeared from their lives suddenly and then decided to come back after some time. Text him only once after he disappears. I dont know what his reaction was to my email, maybe he was just sick of me and didnt want to see any emails. He invites me after work to see him at his place for a bit. 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